Sleep well.
An important value in Thai culture is a positive perception of their society and nation. It is uncommon for a Thai person to even acknowledge the social problems that dull the shine on a proud and ancient heritage. It is my goal to show sensitivity to our Thai brothers and sisters and acknowledge that stories like this, while accurate, may be uncomfortable to read. Thailand is the most deferential and polite society I have observed. Its cities move at the same pace of a metropolitan city in the US, but there is a grace to the movement that is completely foreign to the US. The absence of honking horns is one example. When you do see a Thai taxi driver use the horn, it appears to be in an apologetic manner, juxtaposed to the spiteful noise that litters our urban streets.
I love Thailand. I appreciate and honor Thailand. I value justice, and despise injustice. This is why this story and countless others like it must be told. Thank you for reading.David, The Blind Project
Phan recalls she had a fun childhood. She lived with one of her grandmothers until she was eight. The fun childhood memories stopped when she moved in with her parents. When she was ten she went to school Monday through Friday and worked every Saturday and Sunday in the mango fields. She was able to go to school until the 4th grade, but when her parents ran out of money she had to stop school and work every day. (A common thread in the stories of many Thai prostitutes is they were living in a dysfunctional family.) Unfortunately, for a large percentage of Thai families stuck in generational poverty, generational alcoholism, where drug abuse, sexual abuse and undervaluing education is prevalent, dysfunction is the norm.
When she was 12 years old, Phan started a job at a convenience store. Her father’s addictions required more and more money. Phan and her mother worked long hours each day.
Her mom and dad’s home was not a place of refuge, but a place of abuse. Because of this, she seldom went home to sleep.
She slept on a bottom shelf towards the back of the store. She would move some bags of rice to one side of the shelf and lay her head on a rice bag. She said, “I really didn’t sleep very well, because I would listen for the door to open, and when it opened I jumped up, put the rice back in place and went behind the counter to wait on the customer. When they left I would go back to my shelf. I remember being tired a lot.”
Most of the money Phan made was taken by her father to support his addictions and pay his gambling debts, but Phan would always save a little money. When she was 16, she had saved 1,500 baht ($50 US). 1,500 baht was the exact amount her mother needed for the medical services to deliver a child. Phan willingly gave all she had to pay that bill. Now she is 25 years old and still willingly gives money to her family to send her brother to school.
By 20 years old, Phan has experienced many lifetimes of pain.
She gave birth to two baby girls, but because she knew she couldn’t adequately care for her second child she gave her baby to a foundation that would see she was cared for. Shortly after this, her 16-month old daughter died of pneumonia. Phan lived in a Bangkok slum for years. She recalls, “There was always fighting in the slums. People had no money and nothing to do. A lot of people drank and used drugs and fought.”
“I was raped several times by drunk men. There are no good doors in the slum, so there was no way to keep people out of where you sleep.”
Phan’s sister, a prostitute, got her a job at a bar. She tried to just be a waitress. She repeatedly said no to the “Johns,” but eventually gave in when a customer offered her and her sister a large amount of money for “a sandwich.” Phan smiles a little now, when she recalls how innocent and naïve she had been: “I didn’t know what a sandwich meant, so I said yes because it was so much money. I started crying when I found out the man wanted me to be sexual with my sister. I hated it.”
Phan’s father continued to pile up gambling debts. Phan was doing anything she could to make money at this time of her life. She was dancing in bars, prostituting and even modeled for a porn website. One of her current regrets is that her images are still on the porn websites. She has repeatedly asked the pornographers to take them down, but they refuse.
One evening, Phan was visited by women from an organization in Bangkok that offers alternate employment, counseling, and love; three things that Phan needed and accepted.
The Blind Project is proud to say that Phan is one of the women who work in the Biographe Lab in Bangkok. Phan’s smile lights up a room. Her joy is evident and plentiful.
“I sleep good now,” Phan says, “but I feel a little guilty that I might be lazy because I like my work.”
Cedarville Univertsity Student Chapel on Thailand [Click on this link to hear an excerpt of "Sleep Well" read to the student body of Cedarville University by, Assistant Professor of Nursing and TBP staff member, David Butgereit]
Comments
Nobody has said anything in this post yet!
Say Something
You must be logged in to post a comment.
